Broken Angel
by jaya2
Summary: For Jim life went to hell when Melfina died. FredxJim
1. Default Chapter

Broken Angel Prologue   
  
I finished writing this fic months ago, and released it else where on the net. I decided to post fics here just recently.  
  
Jim quietly sat on an old stonewall over looking a cemetery. He brushed a wind blown strand of long dirty blond hair from his sad blue eyes. He was watching his older friend slowly walk toward a grave.   
Gene did not know his friend was watching him, and he did not care. Red-hot tears ran down his face, as he laid white roses on the grave. Looking at the inscription on the tombstone he sang the song written there.   
"I don't know   
What words I can say   
The wind has away   
To talk to me   
Flowers sleep   
A silent lullaby   
I pray for reply   
I'm ready"   
Gene was chocking out the words through the many falling tears. A knife was pulled out of his pocket, and he raised it to his throat. Gene continued the song.   
"Quite   
Day   
Calms   
Me   
Oh serenity   
Someone   
Please   
Tell Me"   
"Oh Gods! How many times have I tried?" Jim whispered to himself, while drawing his long legs to his chest. He fought back tears, and watched Gene sing holding a knife to his own throat.   
"Aoooh   
What is it they say   
Maybe I'll know one day"   
Gene's hand fell limp dropping the knife, as he collapsed to his knees. He buried his face in his hands.   
Jim had lost count of how many times he had seen this ritual. All he knew was that it started two years ago.   
Every Sunday Gene came to the grave He laid pure white roses in front of it. Each time he tried to take his own life, but he never did.   
Jim knew he could not live with out Gene. He also knew Gene could not live with out him. Thus they lived in hell together. Jim turned his head away from his crying friend, for he could not look any longer. He did not know why he was cursed to misery. He thought that life was wonderful till four years after the lay line, but two more years had past since then. In two more Jim probably would not be breathing. At lest not the way things were going. Jim unconsciously touched his purplish black cheek.   
Finally tears pored from his eyes, and he asked the sky, "Why did you leave Gene, Melfina? Why?!" 


	2. part1

Broken Angel part 1  
  
Jim entered the place that served as home and work. He new he would get some time to actually do some work because Gene had gone to a bar. Jim frowned as he saw that he was not alone.   
Suzuka was sitting down with her ever-calm expression, and drinking her ever-present tea. To her right was Aisha bouncing in her set like a hyper child. They had left the group together six months after Melfina died, but they came to check on Jim sometimes.  
Jim sat across from Suzuka and Aisha, and waited to hear what they had to say. Finally after a couple of minutes Suzuka set her tea down, and spoke. "Hello, Jim. Aisha and I came to see how you were."  
The ever-tactless Aisha quickly followed with, "What happened to your face?" She put a finger on his bruised cheek.  
Jim flinched, and covered his bruise with a hand. Then answered to quickly, "Nothing."  
"I would not call a bruise covering half you face nothing." Suzuka responded with her mater of fact voice.  
"If Gene did it I will kill him!" Aisha added with acid.  
Shame filled eyes fell to the floor, as Jim attempted to defend his friend. "Don't hurt him. He has not been him self lately. Plus he was drunk at the time."  
"When is he not?"   
Even though the question was rhetorical Jim answered it. "Sunday afternoons, when he pays his respects to Melfina."  
Aisha was scratching her cat like ear in deep thought. After a minute had passed she told Jim. "As a Catarl-Catarl I just can't stand by let a friend get hurt. You should leave with Suzie and I."  
Jim sadly shook his head, "I can't leave. Gene needs me."  
"Jim we know you two have been friends for a long time, but this is not the first time I have seen bruises on you." Suzuka sighed with apparent frustration and anger. Jim looked at her because he rarely heard so much emotion in her voice.  
"There is more to it than that." Jim argued. Then he averted his sad eyes, and whispered, " I think I love him."  
Aisha cocked her head and twitched her ears. "What?" was the only response the confused Catarl-Catarl could make.  
Jim lifted his gaze to the women in front of him. "I love Gene." Jim let out a ragged breath and continued, "Sometimes I dream, and I'm hugging and kissing him. I let him know every thing is okay and that he is loved. In turn he would hold me, and love me the way lovers do." A smile formed on his face and in his eyes. Jim was in his dream world. "We would not spend our days crying. Gene would never drink." Jim's voice faded away. The merriment left his eyes.  
Suddenly Jim began to ball out tears. Awkwardly Aisha moved to hold the trembling child. Suzuka walked to the two, and made an attempt to relax Jim by rubbing his back.  
Although it would be a difficult task to make them admit it they had grown attached to Jim. He had brought out what little maternal instinct they had.  
They were not the only ones acting out of character. Jim was the adult in the body of a boy. Now he was the boy in the body of an adult. Years of pain had finally took their toll.  
Slowly the flow of tears stopped, and Jim's head was buried in Aisha's shoulders. Aisha and Suzuka continued to comfort him, and looked out of place while doing so.  
"Jim, we need to go." Suzuka informed in his ear. He just nodded and sat up.  
" The offers still open." Aisha reminded. Jim just nodded in response.  
Before she reached the door Suzuka reached in to her robes and pulled out some wong. "Here," she placed it into Jim's hand. "Aisha tried to raid your refrigerator only to find nothing."  
Jim took it too emotionally tiered to protest. As Aisha closed the door behind her, a large frown formed on his face. He wiggled in the chair. Frowning deeper he rose from the chair. He flipped the cushion to reveal a hidden bottle of whiskey.  
"Damn it! I can't believe it." Jim spat at the bottle he now held in his hand.  
"Can't believe what?" Gilliam asked, who had been sitting quietly on the table until now.   
"Now Gene is hiding alcohol the chair." Jim growled. His face turned red with rage, and he stood and stewed for a minute. Jim glared at the whiskey with all his anger and hatred.  
Suddenly, as if in a trance Jim went to a cupboard and pulled all of the alcohol contained there.  
"What are you doing?" A curious Gilliam asked.  
"I'm getting rid of this poison." Jim stated while pouring a bottle down the drain.  
"I don't think Gene will like that." Warned the pink bot.  
"I don't care!" Jim shouted. Angry tears rolled down his face, and poured bottle after bottle down the drain. He watched the foul liquid swirl down the drain, and began to laugh. It started in low chuckles, and quickly rose to hysterical laughter. Jim fell to the ground rolling and clutching his stomach in pain.  
"Jim, Jim!" The concerned Gilliam called.  
"He is going to kill me when he gets home." Jim giggled. He curled in to the fetal position, and choked on his laughter. Jim was hacking up rough coughs that raked pain in his lungs. Suddenly he grew quiet.  
"Jim are you okay?" Gilliam asked.  
"No, but I'll live for now." Jim truthfully answered.  
Jim rolled in to a sitting position, and stood up. He was biting back pain both mental and physical, and with out a noise he left the house.  
  
***  
The house was dark as Jim opened the door with on hand. In the other hand held a brown paper sack with groceries. Quietly he walked in, and shut the door. He knew Gene was probably home, and he did not want his arrival known.  
Jim tiptoed to the kitchen darting his head left to right. He began to set the bag down when a hand grabbed his throat. He was slowly lifted off the ground. Franticly he pulled on the hand, and dropped the bag on the kitchen floor.  
Jim struggled with all his might, but he could not break free. Soon he   
Became dizzy, and his hands fell limp. 


	3. part2

Warnings: Violence, Language, and Gene in a drunken rage. Poor Jim! ;_;  
  
  
"Damn you!" The voice shouted as Jim was thrown against the wall. A sickening thud echoed in the room when Jim's head hit.  
Groggily Jim opened his eyes, while gasping for lost air. He was lifted again this time mercifully by the collar of his shirt. Jim's face was drawn close to the assailant's face. He blinked in attempt to rid himself of nausea, but a whiff of alcohol stained breath only made it worse.  
"Why did you do it?" The question was asked with quiet anger. Jim struggled to understand what was asked, but with his head spinning it was very difficult. In fact he had only just figured out that Gene was the one attacking him.  
Gen stared Jim down, as he let go of Jim's shirt. Jim was standing for the first time in minutes, but Gene was not letting Jim go. Roughly he pinned Jim to the wall with one hand around Jim's neck. With the other hand Gene gently caressed Jim's bruised cheek. Jim shuddered, because such a kind action promised pain.  
"Why did you pour it down the drain?" Gene asked as his eyes lowered threateningly at Jim.  
Jim's eyes widened in realization to what was asked, and tears ran for no physical pain. "Damn it Gene. I might as well ask you why you drink it." There was defiantly venom in his voice, but he looked more like a frightened puppy than an angry viper. Gene growled as he raised his fist. Instinctively Jim cringed.  
"Gene you should learn to control your anger." interrupted Gilliam.  
Gene let go of Jim as he stormed over to the little pink bot. Jim began to retreat to the front door in hopes of leaving alive.  
"Who asked you." Gene spoke with no attempt to hide his rage.  
Before Gilliam could reply though there was a metallic click. Gene turned to see Jim opening the door. "Where the hell do you think you are going." Gene shouted.  
All Jim could do was freeze. His mind told his legs to run, but they could not or would not move. Once again his sanity left, and laughter began. He sank down on the floor in hysterical laughter.  
If it was possible Gene's anger only grew. "You think this is funny?!" Gene grabbed a hold of Gilliam.  
"Gene what are you doing?" It asked.  
Instead of answering he through Gilliam at Jim like a pitch would through a baseball.  
"Gene I was not designed to be used as a projectile. Gilliam commented in the air.  
Meanwhile Jim was still laughing on the floor. A loud crack echoed in the room as Gilliam struck Jim in the lower ribs. Jim was brought out of his hysterics with a gasp of pain. Jim grabbed his side, and struggled to stand up. Jim had had enough.  
With a determined gleam in his eyes Jim spoke. "You want to know why I did it. Then I will tell you. I'm sick of watching you drink to death. That's all you do any more, and I am sick of it."  
Jim drew in a slow breath, and continued before his courage ran out. "And do you know why I'm sick of it? I'll tell you. It's not because it digs a hole in our budget. Also it's not because you get angry and beat the crap out of me. It's because I love you, Gene. I love you with all my heart."  
Quite tears ran down Jim's cheeks. Gene simply looked at Jim with shock. While raking his fingers in his hair Jim went on. "I've known this for a long time. Sometimes I was jealous of Melfina when you held her in your arms and kissed her. I had even wished she was not there, but when....."   
Gene tackled Jim in to the wall. With out a thought he showered Jim with punches, and it did not take long for blood to be spilt from the beating. Just a suddenly as it had begun though it stopped. You could almost see the steam come off Gene as he went to open the door. Jim lifted his bloody face from the floor to look at Gene.  
Gene glared at Jim and growled, "Get out. Find someone else to fuck your ass." A cruel smile played on Gene's lips as he continued. "I bet Fred Lou would be more than willing to."  
Jim just blinked in shock. "I said get your ass out!" Gene yelled. Jim got up as fast as he could, and ran as fast as his broken body would take him.  
Jim ran the whole night only stopping when he fell on his face. When he got up ran some more, but this time he was limping. He did not stop utile he reached his destination at dawn. He was surprised to find were he had run to, but was to tiered to run any longer. He walked to the door, and rung the door bell. There he collapsed in to an uneasy sleep. 


	4. part3

Broken Angel part 3  
  
There is a flashback in Italics.  
  
Fred Lou had no idea as to who would be at his door so early in the day. In addition he had not had his morning coffee. Worse he had given his servants and bodyguards the day off so he could get his rest. Because of this he was more than a little annoyed with answering the door. This changed though to shook/horror when he saw the beaten body collapsed at his door.  
Blood oozed from bruises on the face and arms. Blood also stained the tattered blue shirt. Under the eye that was not black rings had formed from lack of sleep, and even with boots on it were obvious that the right foot was swollen. The whole body screamed pains, and its current slumber was anything but peaceful. It was a wonder how Fred could tell that this was Jim Hawking.  
Carefully Fred knelt next to Jim. Lightly he stroked Jim's cheek while sadness poured from his eyes. Gently he slid his arms under Jim. One rested underneath Jim's neck and the other under Jim's knees. Slowly in hopes of not hurting the angel in his arms farther. Fred then stood, and carried Jim inside.  
With one foot Fred closed the door, and proceeded to walk to his room with Jim in his arms. While walking up a long flight of stairs and two long hallways he thought. He could not understand who could have hurt such a beautiful angel as Jim.  
Suddenly Jim made a soft half sob half cry in his sleep. Fred stopped in his tracks. Tears rolled down Jim's cheeks. Instinctively Fred pulled Jim in to his chest, and rocked him gently. Jim quieted and sank in to Fred's arms welcoming the kindness. Another tear fell on Jim's face, but this one came from Fred. "What happened to you?" He asked the sleeping boy in his arms.  
Finally Fred reached his bedroom door. Fred had trouble holding the cumbersome treasure in his arms as he opened the door. He left it open, and walked straight to the bed. There he laid Jim on white sheets not caring if they got blood stained.  
Once again Fred caressed Jim's cheek with his fingers praying that the boy did not have too serious of injuries. Fred stood for a minute remembering the last time he had seen Jim.  
Flashback  
Fred embraced Gene as soon as he walked into the Fred's office. Fred loved the feel of Gene's muscles against him, and always had wanted to feel them flesh to flesh.   
Then he saw Jim standing in the door. Letting go of his embrace on Gene he looked Jim over. Fred's eyes trailed up long legs, and suddenly wished that Jim were wearing something tighter as he past Jim's crouch. Fred eyed the flat stomach and somewhat slim shoulders. Fred finished by looking at Jim's slightly child like face. To Fred Jim looked like an angel.   
Then Fred rushed up and embraced, and in the cheerful voice that only could belong to Fred he greeted Jim. "Jim! I've missed you. Why don't you come over more often?"  
Fred had always paid particular attention to Gene and Jim's body language. In fact he practically studied it. Fred could predict with extreme accuracy how they felt by there actions. Also he would know what they would do give the proper stimuli. So when Jim did not tense up Fred was surprised.  
Fred had to look at Jim's face, and was saddened by what he saw. Jim's eyes were always serious and worry, but now they were just sad and staring off into no were. Jim did not seem to be there.  
After Fred let go of Jim the session went normally. Fred led Gene on to believe that he would not lend the money, and as always Gene begged. Fred liked to hear Gene beg, and always-wished Gene was begging for something completely different. Despite the fun Fred had playing with Gene he could not forget Jim's sad eyes.  
End of Flashback  
Fred looked at Jim again who had been beaten bloody. Then sat on the edge of the bed, and tugged his ear in thought.  
"He is an angel." Fred whispered sadly to himself, "Who could have threatened let alone hit him." Quietly Fred watched the broken angel sleep. 


	5. part4

Broken Angel part 4  
  
There was no way of telling how long Fred had been sitting at the edge of the bed staring at Jim. He felt as if he needed to watch Jim or else Jim would break or disappear.   
Sighing Fred closed his eyes, and absently tugged at his ear. He considered what he could do and what he should do. He knew that he should call Gene, because he was probably worried about Jim.  
Then he was thrown from his train of thought when he felt a huge shift in the bed. Jim had curled in to the fetal position, and had his arms in front of his face as if warding off blows. Still unconscious Jim started whimpering, "Please don't hit me. I'm sorry, Gene."  
That statement to say the least confused Fred as he moved to Jim. Fred brought Jim in to his arms, and gently shook Jim. "Wake up. It's only a dream, Jim." Fred kindly commanded.  
Slowly blue eyes opened and blinked. Just as quickly tears collected in those eyes. When the dam broke they fell lightly running over a bruised face. Instinctively Fred pulled Jim into his lap, and rocked him in an attempt sooth. With his hand Fred combed Jim's hair. Fred then brought his lips to Jim's ear, and whispered, "It's all right Jim. What ever the dream was about it was not real."  
Jim's tears suddenly stopped, and his eyes bulged out like a frog. "Fred?! Jim asked bewildered.  
"Yes." Fred replied looking at Jim.  
Jim jumped out of Fred's arms, or at least tried to. His only accomplishments were to fall on the bed, on his back, in pain, and end up in a vulnerable position. Fred would have laughed at this predicament if Jim had not gasped in pain. So Fred's face which was full of merry mischief for a moment turned to one of concern. "Jim are you okay?"  
"Not really." Jim stated. He sat up wincing in pain. Blinking he then looked in the direction of Fred, but his eyes were not focused. He had left the world, and went to his own. There he was safe. No one would hurt him. No one would love him. There was nothing. Nothing to worry about or wish for. He detached his mind and soul from his body. Jim would not hurt again, but he would not feel pleaser either. In a way this felt wrong. He threw away his humanity, and now all that was left was his life. He would through that away too.  
Fortunately or unfortunately though Fred watched Jim sitting there. His concern quickly grew as he saw Jim eyes grow glassier and glassier. "Jim." He whispered, but it fell to deaf ears. "Jim." He repeated a little louder. Still no answer. Fred's voice crescendo as he repeated over and over again. "Jim. Jim! JIM!" But Jim did not responded. In final desperation Fred shook Jim, and cried out, "Angel!"  
Jim slowly blinked, and looked at Fred. Not knowing what else to say Fred asked, "Who did this to you?"  
Jim blinked slowly again, and in a monotone voice replied, "Gene did."  
Fred's jaw dropped. To him this was unbelievable. Gene and Jim were best friends. Fred knew they fought, but it was nothing like this had ever happened. Finally Fred picked up his jaw, and asked, "Why?"  
Jim did not care any more about any thing so he replied. "Because I loved him, and I told him so."  
Fred had a problem of deciding weather to go kill gene now, or stay with Jim. After a minute he decided that Jim probably needed some one, and that there was time to kill Gene later. Fred took Jim's chin in his hand. "Look at me." He commanded. Jim obeyed with an emotionless face. "I have an idea as to what you are going through. At fifteen I lot my best friend for similar reasons. I care a lot for you, and I want to help you." Fred paused for a moment, and looked deep in to the now soulless blue eyes. Fred then added, "My feelings for you are more than lust no matter what you think. So I want you to come out from were ever you are hiding."  
A flash of hope crossed Jim's face, but quickly fled. "How do I know you won't hurt me?" Asked Jim.  
"You don't." Fred replied honestly. " I could swear I wont, but words mean nothing. You have to trust me."  
Jim just stared at Fred. Fred sighed, tugged his ear, and told Jim. "There is only one way I know how to show you how I feel." With that he brought Jims face to his, and brushed lips. Slowly Fred lightly moved his lip agents Jim's, until Jim participated. Then Fred pressed harder in to the kiss with all his passion and skill. Jim wrapped his arms around Fred's neck, as tears fell in a steady stream.  
Fred then pulled away and looked at the angel in front of him. "Do you trust me?" Fred asked. Jim nodded yes. Fred then simply held Jim in his arms.  
  
***  
Gene was watching the front door. Black rings had formed under his eyes. His hands shook from a lack of alcohol. Gene would have been crying, but had long since run out of tears. Rarely would he have admitted that he had made a mistake, but now he was ready to admit he had made the biggest mistake in his life. "I'm sorry Jim." Gene whispered. 


	6. part5

Broken Angel part 5  
  
Gene sat for at least 24 hours with out getting up. His hands shook, and his foot bounced nervously. Gene needed a stiff drink, but instead was content with torturing him self. To his dismay the front door never opened, but he did not expect it to.  
Finally Gene stood shakily. He new he would never see his best friend again, and could blame no but him self for it. He hung his head shamefully, and walked to Jim's room. There he grabbed the doorframe so hard his knuckles turned white it an attempt to stop the shaking.   
Gene's eyes grazed over Jim's room. A large open book on the bed caught his attention. Gene walked to the bed with caution as if doing so was sacrilegious.  
Gene picked up the book to find out it was a photo album. The first picture that he saw contained him holding Melfina in his lap and Jim with his arm wrapped around Gene's shoulders in a friendly way. They all grinned, and two weeks after this photo was taken Melfina was killed.  
Not wishing to think about Mel, Gene flipped the pages back. There his eyes fell on a very old picture. In it Jim smiled and waved a peace sign. Gene was in it also. There he ignored the camera, and gulped down a beer.  
Angry with him self, Gene slammed the album on to the floor. He then pinched the bridge of his nose, and bit his lip to gain control of him self. Melfina and Jim's voice echoed in Gene's head.  
  
Melfina: Gene, drinking is not good for you.  
Jim: Your drinking puts a hole in the budget.  
Melfina: Gene, would you stop drinking if not for you for me.  
Melfina: Congratulations it has been 10 months.  
Jim: Gene this is not the best way to greave.  
Jim: Gene, I'm sorry. Please don't hit me.  
  
Gene left Jim's room, and went straight to his own. Once there he pulled open a dresser drawer, and pulled out a knife. He laid it on the bedside table, and swiftly striped. Gene tossed the clothing to the far end of the room. He then grabbed the knife again, and knelt in the middle of the floor.  
Gene trailed the tip of the knife across his wrists considering to end it now. "To short." He told himself.  
Gene slide the blade on his forearm just cutting through the skin. A broad grin spread across his face, while he watched blood bead up from the shallow cut. Gene brought the blade up to his shoulder, and then created a gash that ran down his arm. "That was for you, Jim." He chuckled.  
Gene then licked his life from the gash. As he continued this bloody ritual a maniac glee glowed in his eyes. Chuckles then pure laughter erupted from his throat. When he had lost him self completely he dropped the knife and curled up into a ball.  
Nothing mattered any more. Everything Gene cared about disappeared. First his father died and then Melfina. Now he had driven off his best and only friend with blind stupid anger. All that Gene had was himself and a knife. That was all he needed. He would hurt and bleed for Jim. When Jim was avenged Gene would kill himself for failing to protect Melfina. Gene did not care if there was a heaven or a hell. He was just too tiered to live. 


	7. part6

Broken Angel part 6  
  
  
Jim sat quietly poking his food with a fork. Idly he watched peas roll across the fine china. Fred simply watched Jim worried. The boy had only eaten what he had to for the past three days, and that was after Fred had pressed it. Fred knew Jim hurt and hurt terribly. He made sure that Jim's physical wounds were taken care of. Bandages covered every place Jim's skin broke. An ace bandage bound Jim's right ankle to keep the sprain from getting worse. Fred even persuaded Jim to take painkillers and medicine to that helped the healing of bruises. Thanks to Fred all Jim needed was some time to heal.  
Unfortunately the deepest wounds were not physical. Fred wanted to help with those injuries also, but Jim clammed up. Fred knew there was more going on with Jim and Gene than Jim had told him. Despite his anger he could not see Gene beating Jim up.  
Jim's fork clanged agents the plate. He had gotten board with playing with his food. He began to think. Jim wanted to open up to Fred, but it hurt so much. To make it harder part of him wanted to stay away completely. That side desired to cut himself, hurt himself, or even kill himself. It told him that he was worthless, and he did not deserve life. Why else would Gene beat him. That voice screamed above the other.  
Whenever he looked at Fred though Jim could almost win. To see Fred's normally cheerful face so solemn made Jim almost think Fred really cared, but the voice came back. Then it would say it was an illusion, and that he was weak and stupid to still love Gene. Because of that Fred could never care for Jim.  
A single tear ran down Jim's face. Fred could not stand it, and told, almost pleaded to Jim. "Come in the other room, so we can talk." Once again Freed would try to open Jim's shell. That shell was more like an iron maiden than the protective covering Jim thought it to be.  
Both Fred and Jim stood, and Fred lead Jim to another room. Fred took Jim's hand in his own. The voice did not want this. It said that Jim could not be loved or liked, and if he were it would lead to pain. The other half was terrified, but wanted it. Fred knew Jim contained a conflict over this, so he lightly rubbed his thumb on Jim's palm. The true Jim won, and did not pull his hand away.  
Fred pulled Jim to a couch, and instructed Jim to sit with a flick of a finger. Then he sat beside Jim, all the while their hands never broke contact. They sat there for awhile fingers entwined, Fred's thumb caressing Jim's palm. Fred waited for Jim to relax, because only then could Jim speak. Slowly tension evaporated off of Jim like a mist. With his free hand Fred cupped Jim's chin, and lifted it up so there eyes meet. "Jim, please tell me what lead up to the incident or what you feel." Fred begged.  
Jim closed his eyes, and bit his bottom lip. A conflict stormed in his mind. The side that hated his self fought the side that wanted to heal, and as always he was losing. Until he felt a hand brush his face gently. Jim also felt his hand squeezed reassuringly by a strong hand. He opened his eyes to stair straight in to Fred's. Jim got lost in those warm loving orbs.  
Jim hypnotized by Fred's caring eyes spoke. "Conflict. There is a conflict in my mind." Jim's throat felt suddenly dry. "Part of me wants help. Another part wants me to disappear. I'm useless, and deserve to die for being so stupid." Tears fell down Jim's face. "I don't want to live. I'm too tiered, and I hurt too much." Jim gave up holding back, and sobbed.  
Fred pulled him in to his arms, and positioned Jim on his lap. Fred wrapped one arm around Jim's shoulders and, and held Jim's head to his chest. He then rocked Jim the best he could on the couch. Fred rested his cheek on the top of Jim's head, and hummed an ancient lullaby. Fred did not know the name or the words to the song, but the melody soothed Jim. That was all that mattered to Fred.  
"Angel, you are not worthless. To me you are priceless. You don't deserve to die or hurt, but instead to live haply. If you let me I will make sure you are happy no matter what it takes." Fred told Jim sincerely.  
Jim looked at Fred, while his lips trembled. His eyes begged for Fred to mean what he said, and Fred's eyes replied that it was true. With the joy that was strange to him, Jim discovered a long lost strength. With it he made a decision to open up, and pressed his lips to Fred's. Inexperienced with the art of kissing Jim naively moved his lips agents Fred's. After the initial shook Fred decided to teach the novice a lesson in kissing. So Fred took it a step up, and slipped his tongue in Jim's mouth. There his tongue explored. He tasted every nook in Jim's mouth, until Jim moaned. Fred pulled away despite Jim's protest. "I don't think you're ready for more." Fred answered the unasked question.  
Jim laid his head on Fred's chest. Absently Fred combed Jim's hair with his fingers. They sat like that content. Then Jim asked, with a bewildered look on his face, "Why did you call me "angel"."  
"Because to me you are." Fred responded. The merriment reappeared in Fred's eyes for the first time in days. To that Jim had to feel special. He snuggled up close to Fred, and a smile curled around Jim's face for the first time in years.  
  
***  
Gene smiled a little too widely, as he rocked back and forth. Gene's legs were drawn to his chest. His unhealthily pale body contrasted with the crimson blood dripping from old and new wounds. Gene laughed. 


	8. part7

Broken Angel part 7  
  
Fred quietly sat doing work on his computer. He would rather be with Jim, but he still had work to do. Also he told Jim to come to him if he felt the urge to talk again, and that he would be more than willing to listen. Fred knew that Jim needed some time alone, and that smothering him would do no good any way. Still Fred felt uneasy. The fact Jim wanted to hurt himself did not sit well in his mind. Even though he was not with Jim, Fred made sure that his servants kept an eye on Jim.  
Frowning Fred pushed away from the keyboard he typed on. Closing his eyes Fred tugged on his ear not knowing what to do for Jim.  
Then to Fred's surprise the door to his office opened to reveal Jim. Fred nearly shot up, and led Jim to the couch across from his desk. Fred sat next to Jim, and asked eagerly. "Is there something you wanted to talk about?"  
Jim looked at his feet, and quietly answered, "Yeah, I want to see Gene." Shame filled Jim's face just as the words left his mouth.  
Uncomfortable with the request Fred swallowed, and inquired, "Why?"  
Lifting his gaze to the white plaster wall Jim responded dutifully, "Because Gene needs me."  
Fred sighed, and pulled on his ear. Leaning against the couch Fred asked, "Jim have you ever considered what you need?" Jim turned to look at Fred blankly. Fred continued, "I mean do you need to see the guy who beat you bloody a week ago?" The words came out with an almost scolding tone which Fred did not intend them to have. Jim averted his eyes, as a single tear trailed down his cheek.  
Cursing himself Fred gently lifted Jim's chin so their eyes meet. "I'm sorry angel. It's just that I'm afraid of what Gene might do." Fred apologized.  
Jim's eyes hardened. Jim sprang up, and shouted. "Don't worry about me. I'm not a fucking kid. I can take care of my self."  
Stunned by sudden out burst Fred blinked, but then coolly replied, "Maybe that is your problem."  
Confused Jim cocked a questioning eyebrow. Fred stood, and walked over slowly to Jim. "Did you ever play with anyone your own age when you were younger?" Fred asked. Jim shook his head. "Did you ever dream carelessly?" Fred continued. Again Jim just shook his head. "Have you ever not worried about someone else?" Fred questioned with his heart begging that Jim in fact had spent time not worrying. This time Jim just turned his head. Now Fred stood next to Jim, as he asked the final question. "Have you ever done anything just for your self?"  
Tears flooded down Jim's face. Immediately Fred embraced Jim. Jim wrapped his arms around Fred's neck, and rested his head on Fred's chest. Tenderly Fred placed light kisses on Jim's hair, and laid his head on Jim's. Jim had needed this kind of comfort for years and no one could or would have provided it until now.  
"Maybe for once, Jim, you need to be selfish, and only worry about yourself." Fred recommended. Jim's tears quieted, and he closed his eyes in thought. "I still need to see Gene.", Jim stated.  
Suppressing a sigh Fred looked at Jim with why written all over his face.  
"Closer." Jim told Fed.  
"Then I'm coming with you." Fred informed with no room for protest.  
  
***  
  
Jim stood at the door of his home, as fear crept into his heart. The last time he was here, he meet fists and pain. Behind Jim, Fred stood protectively, and his body language screamed, "Touch him and die!"  
Jim opened the door, and walked in. Fred fallowed closely behind. The room had been untouched since Jim left a week ago. The pungent odor of rooted food over whelmed the room. Gilliam lay broken at the front door. Dust covered every thing, and the place was eerily dark. But what caught Jim and Fred's attention the most was the giggling coming from Gene's room.  
Quietly Jim walked to Gene's room, and Fred fallowed attempting to control his boiling rage. Jim lightly pushed Gene's already half open door.  
Gene sat in the middle of the floor giggling. Insanity gleamed in his eyes. All color had disappeared from Gene's skin, leaving him pale as the dead. Gashes covered his arms, chest, and legs. Blood from the wounds stained the floor surrounding Gene, and a knife covered in old and new blood lay in Gene's reach.  
"Gene." Jim whispered to gain his attention, as he knelt in front of Gene. Fred stood a foot behind Jim eyeing Gene warily. Gene blinked, and a little of his sanity returned.  
In shook Gene mouthed Jim's name. Trembling Jim touched a fresh wound on Gene's leg. Lifting his hand Jim looked at the blood in morbid fascination. Then Jim gave into the strange urge to lick the blood on his finger. He now had some of Gene's life in him he reasoned to him self. Gene did not care or realize the action, and Fred flinched in concern and disgust.  
Then Jim asked, "Why?" And pointed to one of Gene's many mutilations.   
The maniac gleam returned to Gene's eyes, as he explained, "I did it to get even for you. I need to avenge you."  
Jim looked at Gene with horror. "I never asked you..."Jim began, but Gene stopped him by placing his finger on Jim's lips. Fred visibly tensed, but did not interrupt.  
"I'm sorry, Jim. I've ruined your life. When she died I didn't know what to do, or were to go. You were always there trying to help, but I didn't want it. All I wanted was her, and it wasn't your felt she was gone." Gene cried, and gently cupped Jim's chin in his hand. Terror fell on Fred's face. Not because Gene touched Jim, but because he now saw a deep gash across Gene's wrist.  
Gene continued his apology, "You must think I was angry because your gay. That was not the reason. I lost it when you said you mentioned Mel. I should not have gotten angry." Gene horse voice was made worse, as he began to sob.  
Broken Gene fell in to Jim chanting, "I'm sorry." repeatedly in an attempt to clean himself. Fred joined the scene by kneeling next to the two crying figures. Softly Fred tapped Jim's shoulder, and told Jim urgently, "We must get Gene to a hospital. Now!"  
Both Jim and Gene oblivious to Fred were in their own world. They wept in each other's arms. Both of their souls screamed in pain, and no amount of tears could express it. Gene's voice stedaly grew weaker, as he continued to beg for forgiveness. He did not know that Jim had already forgiven him a week ago, when the first blow landed. Suddenly Gene's please for forgiveness stopped, and his trembling body grew still.  
Alarmed Jim lightly shook Gene. Gene's head lolled back, and his cold eyes stared lifelessly at the ceiling. "Gene!" Jim shouted, as he shook Gene like a rag doll. Fred felt a dreadful numb, and had no will to interfere.  
Defeated Jim dropped Gene's limp body, and searched the room disparity. With out warning Jim lunged at the knife on the floor, but before he could grab it a strong hand held his wrist. Fred jerked Jim away from the knife, and firmly grasped Jim's shoulders. "Don't you dare." Fred commanded. Then he embraced Jim with his life, and repeated, "Don't you dare." 


	9. part8

Broken Angel part 8  
  
Fred held Jim's hand, and led him in to his home. Jim simply fallowed numbly. Fred was on his lat nerve. He had just seen the man he held a crush on for years die three days ago, and just attended his funeral. To make things worse Jim might as well be dead, as closed of as he was. Fred spent this whole period with Jim trying to be strong, but even Fred Lou had his limits.  
Fred turned to look at Jim. "Jim talk to me." He commanded.  
Jim did not even respond. He stared off in to space oblivious to Fred and the rest of the world. "Damn it Jim. Look at me." Fred shouted, and roughly grabbed Jim's chin to make Jim look at him. "I can't take this any more." Fred continued. "I just lost one of the most important people in my life, and I'm not losing the most important. So quit hiding."  
Jim asked bewildered and tentatively, "What do you want?"  
Fred stared intensely into Jim's eyes, and with all the strength he could muster answered Jim, "I want to know how you feel. I want to know why you feel the way you do. I want to help you heal. And most of all I want you." Tears from pent up emotion rolled down Fred's face. He embraced Jim, and continued crying in to the crook of Jim's neck.  
"It hurts me to see you hurt. I love you, Jim." Fred told him gently.  
Some how Fred cracked Jim's shell. Unsure of himself Jim combed his fingers through Fred's hair. Comforting the man that did the best to comfort him was a stronger medicine than any would expect. Giving love felt just as good as receiving it. Cleansing tear fell from Jim's eyes. "Gene is gone isn't he?" Jim questioned.  
Fed lifted his face to look Jim in the eyes. "Yes he is, angel." Fred answered.  
"Then this is not a dream." Jim stated to him self defeated. He had hoped that this was some terrible nightmare. Then a glimmer of hope flashed on Jim's face. "That means you are real."  
Fred nodded yes. Jim then exclaimed happily, "Thank the gods." He launched him self on Fred knocking them both on the floor. Jim hugged Fred for dear life. He sobbed from the pain of his loses and for the joy of gaining Fred. After recovering from the initial shook Fred caressed Jim's back to sooth, and held Jim closer to him if that was possible.   
Slowly Jim quieted, and when he stopped crying Jim told Fred with a tiered voice. "Thank you for caring. I think I love you too." Then Jim fell asleep emotionally and physically tiered. 


	10. Epilogue

Broken Angel Epilogue   
  
Fred sat on the hood of his car watching his lover walk solemnly to two graves. He had seen this ritual an uncountable number of times in the past three years. Sometimes Fred wished that Jim could let go of the past, but Jim still needed to greave. Fred only hoped that Jim would find peace one day.  
Jim wanted to honor Gene and Melfina, because before Fred they were the most important people in his life. Jim laid a white rose on Melfina's grave and a red rose on Gene's. Jim no longer needed to cry as he did so, but it still hurt. Jim then sung the song that belonged to Melfina; the song he watched Gene sing to her grave so many times. A song that spoke of both sadness and hope.  
"I don't know  
What words I can say   
The wind has a way  
To talk to me"  
Jim's beautiful tenor voice filled the cemetery with the song. Fred closed his eyes, and leaned back resting his wait against the palms of his hands. He listened; mesmerized by the music. The melody did not entrap Fred, or the lyrics. The beauty of Jim's delicate yet strong voice did. No one not even Fred would have guessed from Jim's scruffy exterior, but Jim had an extraordinary voice.  
"Flowers sleep  
A silent lullaby  
I pray for reply   
I'm ready"  
Jim's sorrowful voice contained all of his emotion. Jim really meant the words he sang, wanting the wind or any thing to tell him why things happened the way they did.  
"Quiet  
Day  
Calms  
Me  
Oh serenity  
Someone  
Please   
Tell me"  
Jim closed his eyes. The words came from his mouth easily. The lyrics embedded them selves deep in his soul. He did not concentrate on the song any more, but instead on the wind. It spoke to him, not with words or to his mind. The wind spoke to his soul.  
"Aaa~oooh   
What is it they say?  
Maybe I'll know one day."  
Suddenly he understood. Jim felt peace for the first time in his life. A small smile crept across his face. Feeling better than he had in years Jim strolled toward Fred and the car.  
Fred slide off the car, and walked to Jim. He focused on Jim's smile; witch never appeared on the day that he visited the graves. Fred filled with caution remembering the days when Jim was, to say the least, unstable. "What is it, angel?" Fred asked using his pet name for Jim.  
"I think I understand what happened three years ago." Jim answered. Fred looked at Jim, eyes begging for him to continue. "Gene was already dead when he died in my arms." Sighing Jim continued. "Gene died the day Melfina died."  
"Gene was passion incarnate.' Jim explained, "Those years before he acquired the Outlaw Star he looked for an anchor for his passion. Girls, alcohol, bounty-hunting non of these things worked. Then came the Outlaw Star and Melfina with it. He found what he needed, and put all of himself in it. All of his passion directed at Melfina. In other words all of his soul was given to her. Then she died, and with her his passion. I wanted to help him so much, but he had already died."  
Tears gently fell down Jim's face. The pain of not being able to help his friend still hurt, but it had numbed by understanding. Jim leaned into Fred, and whispered, "Hold me."  
Fred submitted to Jim's quite plea. Gently he held his lover in his arms. Fred lifted Jim's chin, and asked, "Are you okay?"  
"Only because you are here." Jim replied lovingly. Jim cuddled closer to Fred, and told him, "That's another thing I realized. With out the past happening the way it did, I might not be with you."  
"I'm not worth the pain you went through." Fred commented. Jim pulled Fred's head down, and locked lips to prove him wrong. Three years of practice did wonders to Jim's skill. His lips moved expertly against Fred's, and with out warning slipped his tong in. Jim showed Fred every thing he felt in the desperate kiss. With his tongue he caressed Fred mouth needing him to know how much he loved him, but the desperate show of love turned in to lust. Jim lost in his hormones wrapped his leg around Fred. Slowly Fred pulled away.  
"We'd better stop; or I'm going to take you right here right now." Fred warned with a lecherous grin.  
"You would not dare!" Jim protested.  
"Try me." Fred dared, and their lips meet again.  
  
***  
  
"You know Mel I used to be very lustful, but.." Gene began.  
"Used to be?" Melfina interrupted.  
Gene grinned cockily, as he stretched out his beautiful white wings. They were only for show, and Gene and Mel did not even need to beat the wings to hover five feet above the ground. "Okay! I still am." Gene admitted. "But like I was saying. I would never have made out with Fred Lou in a cemetery."  
"Yeah that is true, but you probably would have tried with me." Melfina commented." Gene only smiled wider at that, and maneuvered behind Mel to wrap his arms around her waist. He rested his face in the crook of her neck, and smelled he sent. This was a luxury he rarely could enjoy even though he was with Mel for eternity. Gene had to spend most of his time watching Jim, because he was now his guardian angel more or less. Gene repented for his sins in this way, but he did not mind. He felt that he got off essay considering his past life stile. Also he truly cared for Jim, so keeping an eye on Jim was exactly what he wanted to do. That made his punishment all the more cleansing to his soul.  
Suddenly Gene lifted his head up, as he heard a low moan. He saw Jim pinned to the car bare-chested, and Fred sucking on Jim's nipple. Gene suppressed a laugh when he saw that Jim's shirt hung from a tombstone. "Jim is going to have Fred's head when they are done."  
Melfina's face glowed a cherry red. "I think we should leave them alone for awhile." She suggested timidly.  
Gene smiled evilly, and asked, "Why? I thought you liked yaoi." Melfina turned a new and previously unknown shade of red, and Gene chuckled. He spun her around, and lead her some were to hopefully spend some quality time with her. 


End file.
